Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Unproductivity...
I HATE the state of unproductiveness! I absolutely hate it! hate it! hate it! It makes me feel so useless. I am a person who mentally make plans for the day. I need things to do to keep me occupied. If not, I tend to do a lot of thinking. And that puts me at a state of depression. I refuse to be depressed! I have not had things easy in life or at least as easy as people around me. If i indulge in thinking about matters, I get melancholic. And I refuse to be melancholic. I have adopted optimism to be able to handle difficult situations and problems that arise. The happy facade i put on almost every day helps me get by. The smile is only a mask that hides my inner turmoil. I can't talk to anyone. I can't get close to anyone. I long for a friend whom i can trust...But where do i find such a friend? Silently, i bear it all like a bottle.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Weird Dream
A few days back i had a weird dream. Though at the time it seemed very real in my mind. I remember some parts vividly, even as other parts are a blur. It starts off like this...
For some vague reasons, my siblings and I were walking over to our neighbour's house. It was a terrace house with a garden that had tall green pine trees. There were high brick wall built around the house. The garden was a beautiful place that reminded me of the Secret Garden. The further we walked, the deeper the path went. And finally, we reached a pond, which was beautifully lanscaped. There were even stepping stones, smooth as pebbles, leading up to the pond. It was the size of a medium swimming pool.
It all seemed so ethereal, like a beautiful scene straight out of a fairy tale. The next thing i knew, we took a dive to go swimming...in our clothes. We were diving deeper and deeper into the pond.
It was unusually dark and gloomy underwater. Yet, somehow it had the aura of serenity and peacefulness. And the water was cool and clear. Amazingly, we were never short of breath. We just kept on swimming. Gliding among the long flowing sea-weeds, and tall, dark green plants. It felt as if the place held a calm that cannot be found elsewhere. It was very relaxing. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, we resurfaced to the middle of the pond. Floating in the water surface, we suddenly realised that the pond was more like a lake. But, somehow we were happy and care-free. Not few minutes had passed, before we dived back into the water. It was as if the pond had secrets and an unexplicable pull that keeps us wanting to dive deeper. When we were underwater, the time seemed to be in a standstill.
Anyway, sometime later, I resurfaced again. Only this time it was near a boulder. In a beach. A beach that had clear, blue water and endless azure sky. And there were other people swimming at the beach. Families, kids, fathers and mothers. But strangely, there were no resorts, no hotels, no restrooms. It was like an uncharted island. That was where the dream ended. I don't recall if my sister and brother were with me on the beach.
The weirdest part of it all is that i've had this dream before...years ago during my higher secondary school year. That it should suddenly come again in the same manner, evoking the same emotions...is simply...!!! *shivers*
For some vague reasons, my siblings and I were walking over to our neighbour's house. It was a terrace house with a garden that had tall green pine trees. There were high brick wall built around the house. The garden was a beautiful place that reminded me of the Secret Garden. The further we walked, the deeper the path went. And finally, we reached a pond, which was beautifully lanscaped. There were even stepping stones, smooth as pebbles, leading up to the pond. It was the size of a medium swimming pool.
It all seemed so ethereal, like a beautiful scene straight out of a fairy tale. The next thing i knew, we took a dive to go swimming...in our clothes. We were diving deeper and deeper into the pond.
It was unusually dark and gloomy underwater. Yet, somehow it had the aura of serenity and peacefulness. And the water was cool and clear. Amazingly, we were never short of breath. We just kept on swimming. Gliding among the long flowing sea-weeds, and tall, dark green plants. It felt as if the place held a calm that cannot be found elsewhere. It was very relaxing. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, we resurfaced to the middle of the pond. Floating in the water surface, we suddenly realised that the pond was more like a lake. But, somehow we were happy and care-free. Not few minutes had passed, before we dived back into the water. It was as if the pond had secrets and an unexplicable pull that keeps us wanting to dive deeper. When we were underwater, the time seemed to be in a standstill.
Anyway, sometime later, I resurfaced again. Only this time it was near a boulder. In a beach. A beach that had clear, blue water and endless azure sky. And there were other people swimming at the beach. Families, kids, fathers and mothers. But strangely, there were no resorts, no hotels, no restrooms. It was like an uncharted island. That was where the dream ended. I don't recall if my sister and brother were with me on the beach.
The weirdest part of it all is that i've had this dream before...years ago during my higher secondary school year. That it should suddenly come again in the same manner, evoking the same emotions...is simply...!!! *shivers*
Thursday, January 11, 2007
My timeless oasis...
Finally! I have gotten around to creating my own blogspot. My cyber space...my private but not so private thoughts blog...my very own timeless oasis!!!
Timeless Oasis...Hmmm, I guess I chose this name because I believe that there is an alternate dimension where everything is peaceful, quiet, perfect and ideal. Which is only natural, being a person who is very into elves, dragons, unicorns, the fae folks and all things magical and mythical.
Anyway, i think timeless oasis kind of defines cyber space in a way. An endless space where you can express your thoughts and feelings freely.
I like to observe people around me. You'll be surprised how much you can learn about people and their character just by being a silent observer. Sometimes, they are quite entertaining. At the same time, you get to learn something about yourself. I am naturally quiet around strangers, and not-so-quiet with my close friends. I find peace in solitude and quiet pursuits. And because i get to write whatever i want in this blog, i'm gonna call myself 'the scribbler'.
Timeless Oasis...Hmmm, I guess I chose this name because I believe that there is an alternate dimension where everything is peaceful, quiet, perfect and ideal. Which is only natural, being a person who is very into elves, dragons, unicorns, the fae folks and all things magical and mythical.
Anyway, i think timeless oasis kind of defines cyber space in a way. An endless space where you can express your thoughts and feelings freely.
I like to observe people around me. You'll be surprised how much you can learn about people and their character just by being a silent observer. Sometimes, they are quite entertaining. At the same time, you get to learn something about yourself. I am naturally quiet around strangers, and not-so-quiet with my close friends. I find peace in solitude and quiet pursuits. And because i get to write whatever i want in this blog, i'm gonna call myself 'the scribbler'.
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